An Open Letter

I have decided that this will be a two part series that way I don’t ramble on about one subject and it stumbles into the next then back to the other.

This particular one is an open letter to my Ex-Husband:

Dear Ex,

You suck at being a father, I am trying way too hard for you to be present in your kids’ life and I am done. You signed over your rights because you did not want an investigation done and I signed along with it even though it was another “ fuck you” to me and my girls. But at least I knew at the end of the day my girls would be safe. 

You pay below state guidelines for child support because you lied about your income. You chose to take on children that are not yours to support and that is just crap. One day actually no, that day has come already; my 6 year old questions why you were there to celebrate those other kids birthdays and not hers. She is not stupid. She already knows and sees that I am their mother and father. 

You expect me still to do as you say and get pissy when I do not. I have been more than compliant and way too nice when it came to our divorce. And in hindsight I should have went for the jugular.

Just know I am done trying so damn hard for you to be my Children’s lives. And when you do show up you bring your baby. That hurt my 6 year old, she didn’t show it with you but when she came she asked me to email you and let you know that you “screwed up “. I am done protecting you. 

Sincerely your ex-wife.....

New School Year

The school year is just starting up in this neck of the words and I must say I am not getting a fantastic first impression with my daughter's kindergarten.

 I should have an open mind; but I had to fight a bit for her IEP before school even began. My 6 yr old had been diagnosed with Autism, separation anxiety as well as ADHD during pre-school. I was a little surprised with the ASD but in the end it all made sense. These are all new waters for me and at times I feel like I am barely treading. I am learning that schools, administrations, etc will fight the parent tooth and nail on a child's IEP needs...it is insane ! I am getting off track here ( big surprise, lol ) ! 

Anyway, school starts, Thursday and I had not heard a peep from my daughter's school...is she morning session or afternoon ? I tried calling but guess what, they are getting a new phone system installed so you cannot get a person on the line. I tried going online to see if I can get that info online, nope nada. I finally went into the school today to ask.

 I personally feel like I should not have to do that. A letter should have been sent out. I am part of a Facebook group that another parent had put together to get info on school, groups, and all that jazz in my area. Thank goodness for that group otherwise I wouldn't have known have orientation day, new drop off and pick ups. Some parents are getting emails while others ( such as myself ) are not. This is why letters need to go out. Maybe I am turning into a grumpy old lady. Or maybe I am just getting nervous for my babies to be starting school and this is my way of getting it out.

Either way I hope the school year goes smoothly and the kinks get worked out. Communication is always key in life !!

Mercury in Retrograde dreams ...

I have been having some crazy dreams recently, I know last night’s has to do with Mercury being in Retrograde once again. It really stuck with me and I wanted to share it and see what you guys thought of it. I know going forward I will be keeping a notebook by my bed to write down my dreams and I would like to get a Dream deciphering book.

Last night’s dream consists of two houses, one had a raging hurricane going on and I needed to save animals from it; including fish that were in an overflowing tank, a cat in a locked room and a dog. I got them except a few fish which were already dead. I got them across the street to the safe house where there was absolutely no storm at all.

After that I left the safe house and headed towards the ocean and I was on the phone with Gino ( a good friend of mine ) I was crying and just saying “ what is going on “ over and over. The waves were crashing around me but I was not getting wet, people were running away but I was standing there watching the waves, crying on the phone. The last thing I remember was hearing him say was “ I will call you when I get back from Connecticut with my wife “.

That is all I remember. What really stands out to me is the ocean waves and saving the fish from the overflowing tank. Anyone have any clues as to what this means ?